The Ant and The Pube

i was sitting on the bowl doing my shit (literally).

note: ok, mind u. i share my loo with 3 ppl. so i seriously dun think the pube on the floor was mine. so let's assume like i did that the pube in this story belongs to smelly boy.

... so i was sitting there and i looked on the floor and there was this tiny ant... carrying a 2 inch long pube!

it was running with it... u could see a moving pube on the floor (this is funnier when i tell it in person cuz i have accompanying actions).

it ran one bathroom floor tile at a great speed. then it put it down and it ran to its frens and screamed 'come over hereeee! i have a giant piece of pube!!!! help me carry itt!!!!'

of course, his (yes i think its a He cuz i dun think females would carry a piece of pube home) frens ignored him.

he went back to the pube and carried it further.

carry carry...

then he ran to his frens again. "help me carry this big piece of pube!!!! if we had a house made of pubes.... we could make a shrine for angelina jolie!!!!"

his frens ignored him and started to leave. then he gave up and he left with his frens. pube left behind on the cold bathroom floor.

true story.

OMFGGGGGGG!!!!!!

yesterday, me and the colleagues moved on to Bakerzin at Paragon after a very disappointed meal at Central Thai (small portion, bad attitude from waiter, paid too much for mediocre food, please ppl, just go to Thai Express). we sat at the corner table outside. and we had yummy cakes and ball-y ice cream and wafer and *fancy name i forgot* (vanilla sugar burned over custard)...

i was watching the ppl go by...

*saw old indian couple in front*
(this was wat was gg thru my head)
ahh, indian family gg out for shopping, how nice. ooh the son quite handsome, hmm how come the son looks so much like Abhishek Bachchan???

at this point, eza put her hand on my thigh and gasped 'Aishwarya Rai!!!!!'

the couple has turned the corner and leaving at the exit.

i turned and gasped LOUDLY 'ABHISHEK BACHCHANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!'

which he turned and looked over and see this doe-eyed chinese girl all awestruck by her first sighting of a Bollywood star!!! he walked away.

hee hee! i am very disappointed i didnt turn to look at one of the most beautiful woman on earth but i did see her grubby (with 3 days old whiskers) husband. OMG OMG OMG (i dun even like him. he looks like doo doo) but he is a bollywooooood starrrrr!

(by then i was furiously messaging tabi who is lazing on a langkawi beach.)

:D

p.s. and i am dyeing my internal organs (and hopefully blood) pink by excessive consumption of hot pink dragon fruit! i mix it with everythg, yogurt, cereal... yum! and HOT PINK!

mimi: when all else fails, i have a pseudo bf in Thailand who thinks i am more than AMAZING!

TJ: by saying you're more than amazing, i mean i think you can do more that sprout trunk!

mimi: i wish a man would think i am amazing...

TJ: haha amazing is kinda dull way to describe a girl anyway. like how elephant show is always amazing in circus


love u pear bear. pinkie swear on India.

msn chat w bro

mimi: don't tell mom...
bro: what? you are pregnant?
mimi: erm. no. my office got two H1N1 positive cases. and thanks for having high expectations of me. but who can i get pregnant with?
bro: how i noe?

in my brother's mind, i must be some trashy slut who is waiting to get knocked up. awesome.

i am wonderfully cacat (retarded)

that's wat shish says. cuz i have a lot of silly accidents and awkward situations that i juz get into. and i live to tell the story.

so i went durian testing in hall today. shilin (my lovely pretty roomate) was late and she called that she was at the 3rd floor (admin block). so we told her to come on down to 2nd floor. being the rascal i am, i went to hide at the side of the lift opening so i could pounce/hug shilin when she comes out.

the lift was coming down... and the door opened. and out stepped...

HALL MASTER

(the hall master is a hairy indian man who wears a turban and is a very serious fellow)

i looked at him from my half squatting position and he saw me and quickly stepped away as he gave me a 'WTF' look.

and shilin was juz simultaneously coming out of the stairs exit.

'Lucky i never scream.' he said

=_=''' diaong.

hello blog. do noe that i have a microblog on twitter!

@brilliantlyash

follow me follow me and u will noe how many pieces of tissue i used in the toilet today to how soggy i like my cereal and if i were to go to heaven, god better serve me bbq pork or i will give him/her a black eye!

tell me ur twitter account too so i can stalk u (if i am not already! ;) )

i am broke. like flat broke. bro came for one week and i spent 1000 dollars. yes 1000 dollars. i didnt noe i had 1000 dollars too. now i don't anymore.

girls. i am very sorry but i can't got for dinner till next month. i will be surviving on the bare minimum for the rest of the month. charity is more than welcome!

with some idle time on my hand over the week. i got to thinking and reflecting. i think a lot of ppl is selfish and unkind and full of condescending comments and ignorant. i am very afraid i am turning into one of the above. i wonder if it is because the grown up world is the above, thus making everyone miserable. sweet sweet hani told me her dad loves my cheerful and always happy attitude, more than my breasts (and he has said some stuff abt my breasts. hurhurhur. thanks). and i hope i can keep it, the cheerful and always happy attitude (the breasts too, thank you.) but it is getting harder and harder each day. my colleague at work said she wishes she can be nice again. she was very nice. now we have been bullied and pressured so much, nice is no longer possible.

do u think there exist a place where ppl are nice? and kind? and helpful? and cheerful? and freedom is a given? freedom to be you and me, and no one to call us eccentric?